I Hear You

Three of the ideas you’ll keep

The Clif summary of I Hear You pulls out 7 insights. Here are the first three.

1. **Validation** means recognizing and affirming that someone's emotions make sense, and it is *not* the same as agreeing, praising, sympathizing, or fixing. You can validate a feeling while completely rejecting the opinion or behavior attached to it.
2. Behind every message is an **emotion**, and your real job as a listener is to identify and name that feeling, not to litigate the facts, correct the story, or judge whether the reaction is 'rational.'
3. Sorensen's core tool is a **four-step method**: (1) listen empathically, (2) validate the emotion, (3) offer advice or encouragement, but only if wanted, and (4) validate again.

The other 4 — and the full 9-minute summary — are in the app.

What’s inside: 8 chapters

The whole summary runs about 9 minutes, read or listened to.

1. The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Great Relationships
2. What Validation Really Is, and What It Isn't
3. The Four-Step Validation Method
4. Steps One and Two: Listen, Then Name the Feeling
5. Steps Three and Four: Advice, Then Validate Again
6. How to Validate When You Completely Disagree
7. Validating the Good: Celebrating and Positive Emotions
8. Validating Yourself and Living the Skill