The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Three of the ideas you’ll keep

The Clif summary of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work pulls out 7 insights. Here are the first three.

1. Build detailed "Love Maps": regularly update your knowledge of your partner's inner world (worries, hopes, daily stresses, who matters to them) so the friendship has a foundation to draw on.
2. Watch for the Four Horsemen that predict divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Contempt is the single biggest killer, so root out eye-rolling, sarcasm, and put-downs first.
3. Keep the 5:1 "magic ratio": for every negative moment during conflict, aim for at least five positive ones, such as humor, affection, interest, and validation. Make small deposits constantly, not grand gestures occasionally.

The other 4 — and the full 10-minute summary — are in the app.

What’s inside: 9 chapters

The whole summary runs about 10 minutes, read or listened to.

1. What the Love Lab Discovered
2. Principle 1: Enhance Your Love Maps
3. Principle 2: Nurture Fondness and Admiration
4. Principle 3: Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away
5. Principle 4: Let Your Partner Influence You
6. The Four Horsemen: Patterns That Predict Divorce
7. Principle 5: Solve Your Solvable Problems
8. Principle 6: Overcome Gridlock
9. Principle 7: Create Shared Meaning