Boundaries

Three of the ideas you’ll keep

The Clif summary of Boundaries pulls out 7 insights. Here are the first three.

1. A boundary is a property line that defines what you own, your feelings, choices, and behaviors, and what you don't. You can't control other people, only what crosses into your own yard.
2. Be responsible TO others but FOR yourself: help carry someone's crushing 'boulder' in a crisis, but never pick up the everyday 'knapsack' loads they're meant to carry themselves.
3. Name your boundary problem so you can target it: compliants say yes to bad things, avoidants say no to good things, controllers run over others' limits, and nonresponsives ignore others' real needs.

The other 4 — and the full 10-minute summary — are in the app.

What’s inside: 8 chapters

The whole summary runs about 10 minutes, read or listened to.

1. What a Boundary Actually Is
2. Responsible TO, Not FOR
3. The Four Boundary Problems
4. The Myths That Keep You Stuck
5. Anger and Consequences: Your Two Best Teachers
6. The Laws That Make Boundaries Work
7. Boundaries with Family and Marriage
8. Boundaries with Kids, Work, and Yourself