Between Parent and Child
Haim Ginott · 1965
Between Parent and Child (1965) is a book by Haim Ginott on relationships & connection. Child psychologist Haim Ginott's landmark guide to talking with children so they feel understood. It replaces criticism, threats, and lectures with a new emotional language rooted in respect, empathy, and dignity.
The book that taught a generation of parents that how you say it matters more than what you say, and that a child's feelings are never wrong.
Three of the ideas you’ll keep
The Clif summary of Between Parent and Child pulls out 7 insights. Here are the first three.
- Ginott's core principle is that **feelings precede facts**: before you can correct behavior, you must acknowledge the emotion driving it. A child who feels understood is far more open to changing what they do.
- Address the situation, not the personality. Criticize the messy room or the unfinished chore, but never label the child 'lazy' or 'stupid', **evaluative praise and blame both wound** because they judge the person rather than the act.
- Ginott's technique of **granting in fantasy what you can't grant in reality** ('I wish I could make it summer all year for you') honors a child's longing without a pointless argument about what's possible.
The other 4 — and the full 11-minute summary — are in the app.
What’s inside: 9 chapters
The whole summary runs about 11 minutes, read or listened to.
- A New Code of Communication
- Conversation That Respects Feelings
- The Perils of Praise
- Discipline Without Humiliation
- Responsibility Cannot Be Ordered
- The Emotions Parents Aren't Supposed to Feel
- The Dangers Hidden in Everyday Talk
- Anxious Situations: Growing Up's Hard Edges
- Parenthood as a Practice of Character
Finish Between Parent and Child tonight.
Read or listen to the full summary in about 11 minutes, then keep the ideas with a minute of review a day. Start with the 2-minute quiz — no card required.
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